Owner of a Lonely Heart

You might not have heard of this book, Owner of a Lonely Heart by Beth Nguyen, and for good reason. You'll see why in a moment. If you have read Stealing Buddha’s Dinner, then you know this author! This is her memoir.

Goodreads Stats

Why I Read This Book/How I Heard About It

Ok, so this is embarrassing, but when I first discovered Goodreads, I completely geeked out one day when I noticed they have a section for Giveaways. I literally sat there for most of a day and looked through about 1,000 giveaways and I probably entered to win at least 400-500 books that day. I am competitive...and I like to win things. This is also how my "Want To Read" shelf grew to 900+ books in one day.

A week later, I had already won two of the giveaways! Then, I won another a couple weeks later. So exciting! I still enter several giveaways per day, but not in the crazy way I did that first day.

I learned, upon receiving my first prize in the mail, that these are actually advance copies of books that have not been released yet! Which is EVEN COOLER! I get to read them before anyone else!

Owner of a Lonely Heart release date: 5/1/23. Hey, that's TODAY! Synchronicity!

Basic Summary

During the Vietnam War, around the time of the fall of Saigon, Beth was only eight months old when her father and grandmother made a decision to take her and her sister and escape to America. Beth's mother was left behind - or decided to stay - it's not clear which. The two of them wouldn't see one another again until Beth was nineteen years old. Over the expanse of her entire adult life, Beth has spent a total of less than twenty-four hours with her mother.

Owner of a Lonely Heart is a memoir about parenthood, absence, and what it feels like to be a refugee in America. Beth talks about a series of visits with her mother over a course of many years - some brief, some interrupted, some alone, and some with her sister.

Beth explains what it was like to grow up in the Midwest as a refugee and shares all the details about her first meeting with her mother, as well as her own journey into motherhood.

First Impressions

There could not be a more perfect book for me to win right out of the gate. This is because my own mother was born in South Korea less than a decade after the Korean War ended. As a baby, she was sent to America for adoption after her mother died in childbirth. She stayed with a carousel of foster parents when she was small, but was eventually adopted into a Chinese family that had emigrated to San Diego, California. The parallels between my mom and the mother in this story felt so familiar.

My mom and sisters and I all love Asian-American books and movies, especially anything that deals with mother/daughter relationships. We enjoy any story that showcases the differences between US-born Asian kids and their parents, who were born in the "motherland". We adore The Joy Luck Club and, more recently, Crazy Rich Asians and Everything Everywhere All At Once.

Final Thoughts

I DEVOURED this book in less than a day. This one was an actual paperback, not an audiobook! It was a super quick read and held my interest every step of the way.

I'm always interested in dissecting motives and emotions behind people's outward behaviors and this story offers so much of that. I am American-born, so I don't know that I could ever fully grasp what it's like to be a refugee in this country. It was fascinating to think about what each person in this book must have been through to begin a new life from scratch in a completely unfamiliar and probably terrifying place.

Beth's relationship with her mother never went deeper than casual short visits and conversations. Their reunion is nothing like you'd imagine and you have to wonder throughout the book what type of anguish Beth's mother must have endured when her children were taken across the ocean, away from her forever. The dynamics at play in their visits are both confusing and intriguing.

I can't wait to pass this along to my Mom. I feel she'll see a lot of her own experiences in the pages of this book.

Rating on Goodreads

I rated this book 4 out of 5 stars.

My rating method:

• I rarely rate books 5 stars. I save this for the absolute best books I've read. You know the ones...the ones that you can't get out of your head, even after you've finished them. The ones you think about for weeks afterwards.

• If a book is really, really good, I'll give it 4 stars. If you see a 4-star rating from me, I'd definitely recommend it to you to read.

• If it's just OK, it gets 3 stars. Basically, it means I could take it or leave it. I'd probably read it again because it wasn't terrible. But not like a favorite or anything.

• If I rate it 1 or 2 stars, I would not recommend anyone read it. It either didn't hold my interest or I couldn't relate to the characters/plot.