Friends, Lovers, and The Big Terrible Thing

Back over to celebrity memoirs! This time it's Friends, Lovers, and The Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry.

Goodreads Stats

Why I Read This Book/How I Heard About It

I love the show Friends and I love Matthew Perry. And, it's no secret that he's had some substance abuse problems and I think, after that strange Friends reunion, everyone was kind of just wondering, "What is up with Matthew Perry?" Well, in this memoir he really does tell ALL.

Basic Summary

From Goodreads:

The BELOVED STAR OF FRIENDS takes us behind the scenes of the hit sitcom and his struggles with addiction in this memoir.

“Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead.”

So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who traveled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us. . . and so much more.

In an extraordinary story that only he could tell—and in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it—Matthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he’s found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humor, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that is both intimate and eye-opening—as well as a hand extended to anyone struggling with sobriety. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and uproariously funny, this is the book fans have been waiting for.

First Impressions

Matthew Perry narrates the audiobook himself. He starts off with the dramatic claim that he should be dead. Exaggeration? No. Matthew goes on to lay out his entire life, explaining how his addictions to alcohol and opiates began. He goes into great detail about every stage in his journey of recovery, which required over 15 stays in rehab and spanned decades of his life.

Final Thoughts

I don't know if I would agree that this book was "uproariously funny". I mean, there were humorous parts, of course, because it's Matthew Perry. But, by and large, this book was extremely sad and Matthew's life, for so many years, has just been AWFUL.

Despite the unlimited cash flow and worldwide fame, he has battled his addiction for years. This has pushed him into isolation and his lifelong loneliness and rampant insecurity is evident in this telling of his life story. He was very vulnerable in laying it all out there for the world to see.

I had no idea how extensive Perry's addictions were. At one point, while he was starring on Friends, he says he weighed 128 pounds and required 55 Vicodin per day to feel "normal" and live his everyday life.

At one point in his recovery, his colon literally exploded and he was said to have a 2% chance of survival. He spent two weeks in a coma and months in the hospital, after which he had to use a colostomy bag for nine more months. He talks in depth about dealing with that surgery and recovery and the scars he still bears from that horrible accident.

Matthew Perry has gone to rehab 15 times, been in detox 65 times, attended 6,000 AA meetings, and has spent between $7-9 million to get sober. He admits the only season of Friends in which he was totally sober was Season 9. If you watch the show, you can tell which addictions he was dealing with at the time by clocking his weight. If he was overweight, he was struggling with alcohol. If he was underweight, it was opioids.

Thankfully, Perry says he has been in recovery since November 2021. After such a long and arduous journey, let's hope he continues on a healthier path. Part of his reason for releasing this memoir was to reach out to those struggling with addiction and provide some hope. This book is worth a read if you like Perry's humor and wit, and even better if you get the audiobook and let him tell you his story in his own voice.

Rating on Goodreads

I rated this book 3 out of 5 stars.

My rating method:

• I rarely rate books 5 stars. I save this for the absolute best books I've read. You know the ones...the ones that you can't get out of your head, even after you've finished them. The ones you think about for weeks afterwards.

• If a book is really, really good, I'll give it 4 stars. If you see a 4-star rating from me, I'd definitely recommend it to you to read.

• If it's just OK, it gets 3 stars. Basically, it means I could take it or leave it. I'd probably read it again because it wasn't terrible. But not like a favorite or anything.

• If I rate it 1 or 2 stars, I would not recommend anyone read it. It either didn't hold my interest or I couldn't relate to the characters/plot.